I wore my knickers that have green and orange shamrocks covering them for the Kenya-Uganda border, just in case my passport wasn't good enough for the lads with AK47's. There was a 10 km queue of lorries and trucks trying to cross, thankfully we overtook them and crossed without having to reveal my undergarments. We stopped for lunch just inside Uganda and I went out to a bush to make yellow. I noticed a few ants trying to avoid the new river on their terrain. Without having took much notice of them I got back on the bus. I felt a little sting on my thigh after I sat down. I investigated but found no culprit. The next 20 minutes involved the same style stings on various parts of my pelvic region, and I mean various. After about the 5th sting I realised it was a particularly curious ant that was sick of life in his nest and wanted to live on me. I kept trying to catch him but it turns out he's more elusive then that leopard we still haven't seen. I prepped myself for the next attack. He tasted my hip and I caught him with ninja precision. I looked at the massive mandibles he sported and threw him out the window. Maybe his colony feed on shamrocks, and he thought he found a gold mine.
More exciting things have happened besides the ant incident believe it or not. I went White Water Rafting yesterday.
The very first thing I saw in our 'Nile River Explorers' campsite was a lady with a head bandage and a sling.
Hmmm...
Despite the potential broken limbs, we agreed to do it in the morning. I think it should be called Lung Water Rafting. It was insane. First of all we were introduced to the coolest men in Africa. If I was an African woman, I marry one and then go out to find more women to marry him also because they're that cool. They did a great job of scaring the knickers off us (normal ones that day) before we hit a rapid. " The rapids are scary, and I'm scared because I've been on them before, the worst one is Rapid Number 9 ". The guide then gave us a series of specific instructions on how to orientate ourselves and lean when we hit this particular rapid. We nodded and practiced but were glad we had time to get used to everything before we hit 'Deathbed' as he called it. We were getting ready for the first whitewater of the day, when we were about 10 metres from the angry stretch, the guide shouted over the crashing water and the sound of our hearts beating out of our chests 'SHIT, REMEMBER I SAID RAPID NO 9? I MEANT RAPID NUMBER 1! HAHAHAHA!'
Right, ok.
It was about a 3 metre vertical drop. We miraculously stayed upright and rescued a few lads who fell out. There were 7 more to go. Altogether we flipped 4 times and spent about a minute and a half 'surfing'. Surfing is basically when you get stuck in a crazy hole of water going in all sorts of directions, I'm sure there are some good videos on Youtube.
I emerged with only oxygen bothering my lungs. We had a massive barbeque and celebrated our lives.
The alcohol is outrageously cheap here. It's about 30 cent a beer and about 1 euro 20 cent for a spirit and a mixer. These prices combined with a very convenient bar tab system has made for two great nights with two to follow. People swear by drinking loads of water, a good old fry up, a box of paracetemol or a vitamin supplement to get rid of a hangover. I'm now going to recommend whitewater rafting instead.
Today we went into Jinja to see what it's like. We didn't take a bus or a taxi, we took motorbikes. We were the most badass Muzungus in Uganda for a while. The locals call them Boda Boda's. It has to be a direct translation from 'mad bastards who have no regard for physics and helmets'. My body thought it was back on the Nile with amount of bumps on that journey, it was like whitewater rafting except when you fell into the river you get a few coughs, not a coffin. For the way home, we all wanted more Boda Boda's.
As I'm writing this I'm watching about 4 or 5 eagles circling the grassland/beach. Earlier, I saw one dive and come back up with a mouse and eat it in the tree beside me. I usually have Judge Judy on in the backround when I'm at home. No prizes for the genius who knows which one I prefer.
We're helping to paint an orphanage tomorrow, which is followed by an all-you-can-drink booze cruise. An odd combination, I know. I'm really looking forward to seeing the kids tomorrow. Every kid I've seen has looked, open-mouthed, at my hair before waving and shouting frantically. I asked Moses, our guide, about this and he said the vast majority have never seen anything like it. I'm a rare species.
I'm going to be watching the Champion's League in the local pub tonight. Seems like a fairly standard sentence back home yeah? But in Uganda it means I'm going to be in a corrugated iron shack with only dodgy homebrewed beer in buckets. I think I'll get some pocket change and buy my beer for the night here.
I've been given a nickname. I like it. They call me 'Dr. Hughlittle' because I can talk to animals.
I'm off to get my camera and look for some.
Silar erbody.
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