Hakuna Matata

It means no worries, for the rest of your days. I was told that this is Africa in a nutshell when I arrived. They clearly didn’t factor in the herd of elephants that casually passed through our campsite at half three in the morning. We were told not to have any toothpaste with us in our tent as you would be introduced to the trunk of a 2 tonne creature. They stomped through the site trumpeting and ripping branches off the shrubs, I was just waiting for the sole of one of them to turn my chest into a puddle of bones, blood and organs. Never mind the Hyenas and Jackals buzzing around outside the tent too. The local dogs were barking their faces off because there was a leopard sleazin’ around the gaff. What about when a vervet monkey lunged at me for my Oreo? Or when I was eating my lunch on a rock in Lake Nakuru National Park and the guide said he saw a cobra basking on the same rock earlier in the week?

           

Hakuna My-arse-a.

In fairness though, I live for these kind of encounters, my cells are hardwired to excrete pure joy from such events. I’m one of those freaks, I know.

We’ve been very lucky with our game drives so far. I’ve seen zillions of things that have left me wide-eyed and grinning. It’s baby season in terms of the animals, they tend to coincide with the rainy season to ensure the best possible survival rate. This combined with an off-season time of year for safari goers means we have often had baby elephants playing all to ourselves. Yesterday, I saw a lil baba rhino following his mammy around the plains. On our first drive, about an hour in, we found a bush with 9 lion cubs, literally in a pile. They flinched when our gargantuan yellow truck bumbled up beside them but then settled down in time for a photo shoot. The parents were completely inaminate on the other side. We turned around a corner and there was a huge leopard tortoise plonked in the middle of the track, she just stared at us for about 10 minutes then plodded off entirely unphased.We are still to spot a leopard, they’re very elusive and blend in well to they’re surroundings. I reckon we’ll see one in the Serengeti in two weeks time.

           

9 of us took to the bikes, as we did a safari through Hell’s Gate National Park. The were jamassive rock faces everywhere, one particular plateau was the inspiration behind Pride Rock in The Lion King. There were loadsa warthogs and giraffe there as they removed the lions 14 years ago. We got to The Gorge and went for a walk in this amazing passage way. I was expecting Lara Croft or Indiana to jump out at us.

We did a walking safari in the predator-free Green Crater Lake National Park. We were strolling along a dirt track with thick vegetation on the left, next thing I knew, a pair of Maasai giraffe galloped out about 30 yards ahead. We oohed and awwed as they elegantly ambled ahead. We approached zebra and more giraffes, one of which was lying down which is unusual, and they gave a surprisingly short distance toleration. It was absolutely incredible.

                         

It’s not just animals here, there are humans too. It’s impossible to drive through a village and not be welcomed with a smile and a wave. It happens so frequently that I have a left and right hand alternation system in place as to not wear them out. There’s carnage when we pass a primary school. We’re like a gang of Justin Beibers on Grafton Street giving out free kisses. The children must be taught to greet Muzungus with ‘How are you? How are you? Hah Wah You?’. It turns into an adorable little chant. The look on their face when you reply with ‘I’m great thanks, how are you?’ is confusion mixed with excitement, they then suddenly turn shy and scurry away. I’m pretty sure they haven’t learned the second line of Muzungu conversation yet.

           
To-o-day is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday is afterwuuurds. I’m going to be in Jinja (insert self-deprecating joke about my hair colour here) in Uganda on Sunday, the second country of my expedition. I'm going to be whitewater rafting on the Nile there.

I’m the busy town of Nakuru at the moment, I gotta go get some lunch from the stalls. Wish me, and my digestive system, good luck.

Silar erbody.